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Sunday, April 17, 2005
Romans 7:15
I was reading this post by a blogger up in Toronto I check out periodically. Check it out...a quick yet thought stirring post.
It made me realize...or rather just once again brought to the forefront of my convictions...my tremendous lack of discipline in the matters of God. The very relationship that is the most important to cultivate gets continuously pushed aside by (what amounts to) minor distractions. What should be the very center of my life...the one thing that, if nurtured, would provide perspective and ability to all other functions, gets pushed aside to attend to said functions; i.e. work, family, etc.
Just a lame excuse, I know...but the very gifts from God I cherish most (family, work) end up being the main distractions that keep me from deepening my relationship with him. Ironic. Not to cast blame...it's my fault. My own self centered fault. A man that recognizes that all good things are from him, should be appreciative enough to start each day on his knees thanking Him for such wonderful gifts. But providing and spending time with these activities takes up so much time, that what time is left ends up being hoarded for my own selfish desires.
I realize this is sounding like whining...but that is not my intent. My motivation is confession. Admitting a problem is supposedly the first step to resolution. Yet, how many times can I admit something without taking corrective action (repentance). Damn this free will...one of the most precious of God's gifts, yet the one that keeps me from growing in Him.
I have literally prayed the following, "Take my will God...replace it with a bit in my mouth and steer me like a horse"...but then I wouldn't be choosing him would I. And that's the paradigm...a loving parent who created us and wants us to CHOSE him with free will...yet because of the free will we chose our own selfish desires. But alas, thank Him for GRACE!!!!
The Grace...that's what makes it all possible. The ability for the wretched to share a table with the Almighty and be treated as children. I never truly grasped this until the birth of my own child. At 3 and a half years of age, she is the most frustrating (and enjoyable) thing in my life...but I would give up my life in a millisecond for her. Thank you Lord for helping me understand...Forgive me Lord for being a spoiled child. Once again Lord...the millionth request of a million more...help me to depend on you alone.
Keith
It made me realize...or rather just once again brought to the forefront of my convictions...my tremendous lack of discipline in the matters of God. The very relationship that is the most important to cultivate gets continuously pushed aside by (what amounts to) minor distractions. What should be the very center of my life...the one thing that, if nurtured, would provide perspective and ability to all other functions, gets pushed aside to attend to said functions; i.e. work, family, etc.
Just a lame excuse, I know...but the very gifts from God I cherish most (family, work) end up being the main distractions that keep me from deepening my relationship with him. Ironic. Not to cast blame...it's my fault. My own self centered fault. A man that recognizes that all good things are from him, should be appreciative enough to start each day on his knees thanking Him for such wonderful gifts. But providing and spending time with these activities takes up so much time, that what time is left ends up being hoarded for my own selfish desires.
I realize this is sounding like whining...but that is not my intent. My motivation is confession. Admitting a problem is supposedly the first step to resolution. Yet, how many times can I admit something without taking corrective action (repentance). Damn this free will...one of the most precious of God's gifts, yet the one that keeps me from growing in Him.
I have literally prayed the following, "Take my will God...replace it with a bit in my mouth and steer me like a horse"...but then I wouldn't be choosing him would I. And that's the paradigm...a loving parent who created us and wants us to CHOSE him with free will...yet because of the free will we chose our own selfish desires. But alas, thank Him for GRACE!!!!
The Grace...that's what makes it all possible. The ability for the wretched to share a table with the Almighty and be treated as children. I never truly grasped this until the birth of my own child. At 3 and a half years of age, she is the most frustrating (and enjoyable) thing in my life...but I would give up my life in a millisecond for her. Thank you Lord for helping me understand...Forgive me Lord for being a spoiled child. Once again Lord...the millionth request of a million more...help me to depend on you alone.
Keith
